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I am not meeting with Dr. Hoff today to discuss my future treatment. He decided to postpone it until Thursday to coincide with a brain MRI that I need to get done. I have unfortunately had several headaches in the past few weeks, and I do not tend to get headaches. Because one of the places that this cancer can spread is the brain, and because headaches can be an indicating symptom for new cancer, he wanted to get the scan. However, he does not think that it is likely going to show cancer - he just wants to play it on the safe side.
After a full day headache five days ago, during which I must say that I was plagued with the unpleasant thought of its cause, Christine and I came to realize that since the surgery, I have often been sleeping on my stomach with head turned sharply. This is not normal for me - I just do it because of discomfort at the surgery site and difficulty sleeping. Since then, I stopped sleeping this way and have not had any more headaches. To say I hope this was the cause is a great understatement.
So, Thursday I have a brain MRI and meet with him to discuss my future treatment plan. Here's the interesting part... there are no studies that tell us what to do at this point. There is no data showing what protocol increases the chances of the cancer not returning for a patient like me. The main reason is that there haven't been enough cases of stage IV colon cancer (with all tumors successfully removed) to justify a full study. This causes me to have a deep humbled thankfulness. The problem I now have is a relatively good problem to have. I will likely continue taking Xeloda, but we need to decide how agressive to be with other possible drugs. I will no longer take the intravenous drug I have been taking in the past (Irinotecan) because it only works for shrinking tumors - not for killing the microscopic stuff and preventing recurrence. The decision on where to go from here, Dr. Hoff's PA said, will be made with Christine's and my input and belongs in the end to us. That's a lot of weight to bear. We're non-volunteer pioneers.
You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning;
My God turns my darkness into light. - Psalm 18:28