In 1957, Dr. Charles Heiderberger discovered 5-flourouracil, otherwise known as "5-FU", at the University of Wisconsin. This drug remains today as the most effective chemotherapy for use against colorectal cancer. Xeloda, which I am taking now, is the oral form of 5-fu. The poem below reflects some of my own thoughts about 5-fu, which I use here to represent all chemo I have had to take. (Because I am now only taking Xeloda, I am expecting the full force of the symptoms below will not appear. But this still reflects how I feel about chemo)
5-FU
Having met Sir C-name,
I'll never be the same.
For he forced me into a battle
I call the chemo game.
A conspiring of radiology with cohort oncology
And - who knows - microbiology
Employing a well-intentioned dimented psychology
Turned loose a rabid shrew
I never before knew
My body was attacked by 5-fu.
"For my own good" everyone else understood.
The mean lifetime increases a year or two
If I'd be a good boy
And take my 5-fu.
Hamburger tastes like a rotting yak
Intestinal revolt
Gastronomic attack.
Developing a gut-wrenching gurgling lump
The posture curling into a slump
Schlop and glop from the rump
(I'm sorry to use the terms I do
But I'm left with no choice by 5-fu)
Gagging, cringing. What's a good boy to do?
Paste on a smile and take more 5-fu.
I do not want it in a box.
I do not want it with a fox.
I do not, do not in a tree.
Not in a car, you let me be!
Not with a pig or kangaroo
I do not want my 5-fu.
Tumor retractibility? 5-fu.
Metastatic possibility? 5-fu.
Microscopic activity? 5-fu.
Perhaps curability? 5-fu.
Even longevity? 5-fu.
He who works under, behind and through
Ordinary means like 5-fu
Is free
O so free.
Dimly I yet see
The author of life and of 5-fu
Guarantor of peace making all things new
And ridding the world of 5-fu.