Today I should be hooked up to a chemo pump -- that is, if I were continuing on the schedule I have been on for a couple months now. Yesterday morning I awoke and briefly got that sinking feeling that it was chemo day. But it wasn't. Instead, it was another day of healing. Today I awake to the same feeling of liberation. Could it be that after over two years, I actually might have become accustomed to the ever-looming treatments?

Life is not fair. We often compare ourselves with someone who has it better or to a better situation and conclude this. But we rarely compare down. We don't look to those who have less and complain that life is unfair.

In Christian theology, we look at passages like 1 Cor 15:22 and think that "in Adam all sin" is not fair. But then we realize "unfairness" is not so bad... "in Christ all will be made alive". The beauty of grace is that it is not fair.

With "chemo days", I tend to think of those who unfairly experience "well days", and conclude that it's not fair. But today, I am comparing my well day with a chemo day - and I'm liking the inequality. It gives me a sweet feeling. A thankful feeling.