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Today I meet with Dr. Hoffstetter to discuss tomorrow's surgery details. Yesterday I went to the CT Scan, which was again only for the lungs. I got to thinking that I had not had an abdomen CT since November. So I brought it up to the nurse. I have not had chemo since November and no one has scanned my abdomen since then, even though that is where the primary and one met was. Even in remission, they will do a scan every three months. Four seemed a long time. I figured this lung-only scan order could have been due to a gap in coverage. Dr. Hoffstetter focuses on the lungs, so he is going to order chest scans. Dr. Eng, who would have ordered the ab scan, has not seen me in a long time because I've been doing lung surgeries. Then there's me.
One part of me did not want to bring this up. If there is no scan, there can be no bad news. And the thought entered my mind that if something showed up on the scan, it could jeopardize even having the surgery. Not to mention, the abdominal scan is quite unpleasant (they fill the intestines with barium from both directions) and causes problems the rest of the day. On the other hand, I figure that more information can only help. Not scanning is not the same thing as being clean.
My pesky questions resulted in the radiology nurse calling my doctor and getting the order changed to be my whole torso. Did they just humor me, or was this a good idea? Was this an institutional slip-through-the-crack, or were they merely satisfying the customer. I'll never know.
The extent to which I can affect my own care is unnerving. Most people, including me, assume that the doctors call the shots and the patient follows. My treatment path has been significantly affected by my proactive tinkering. Since I know just how little I know about this stuff, it makes me wonder. At times like these, I appreciate more sharply the Biblical idea that I can exercise the will and affect things, and yet at the same time trust that all the days ordained for me were written by God before I was born.